What's "Phubbing" and Do You Do It?

I came across a new term today: “Phubbing.”

Phubbing is the act of snubbing your child in favor of your phone. Cell phones are meant to be reinforcing and addictive; studies have shown that those seemingly innocent notifications that we get on our cell phones wreak physiological havoc on our brains in exactly the same way that slot machines do (Olson and colleagues, 2018). Because notifications happen so randomly, users get a burst of joy when they do receive one, which in turn encourages more usage and checking in search of that same feeling of happiness. It’s no wonder that cell phone addiction is a real thing, and over-usage has been correlated with mood difficulties (Elhai and colleagues, 2017). One study even found that college students find phones more reinforcing than food (O’Donnell and Epstein, 2019). That’s kind of mind boggling to think about- a basic human need central to human survival has now been trumped by a piece of plastic that wasn’t widespread until about 15 years ago.

So in addition to overuse being bad for the user, new research has now found that using your cell phone to the exclusion of your children can have long-term detrimental effects. Research already established that cell phone usage can cause kids to act out while they are being ignored, but now we know that children suffer the effects of being technologically “phubbed” for the longer term.

So what is a(n addicted) parent to do?

1. Have everyone in the family put phones away in a communal basket during family times (meals, movie night, etc.). If kids can follow the rule of no tech, so can parents.

2. Turn off WiFi during “tech-free” times throughout the day.

3. Realize that initially, breaking the cycle of checking will be difficult. As with any behavior, it helps to replace your habit to check your phone with another positive and enjoyable behavior. Set measurable goals (a certain number of checks per hour), and slowly reduce the number of hourly checks until you reach your goal. Be sure to reward yourself (or your child) for weaning off your cell phone!

4. Install an application that locks you out for a certain period of time

5. Turn off notifications